Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Online Dating - Meeting a Woman For the First Time

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You started online dating to meet a woman. Now it is time to meet your online match for the first time. Meeting a woman in a comfortable environment is your best strategy for transitioning to a relationship in the real world.


Meet As Friends
When it comes time to meet your online match in person, meet as friends. Don’t go to your first meeting with the idea in your mind that she is The One or might be The One. That puts way too much pressure on your first meeting.

Meet At An Agreed Place
When your online match has decided that she is ready to meet you, let her pick the place for your first meeting. This allows her to choose a place where she will feel comfortable. She may ask for some guidance and making a few suggestions is fine. You might also want to give her a few no-go places if you don’t enjoy a particular type of food, but you should try to be flexible. Unless one of you is driving a long distance, I would try to make the first meeting fairly short. Meeting for lunch, coffee or dessert all work well since none implies huge expectations.

Dress Casual
I would suggest you discuss with your online match dressing casual for your first meeting. I think that helps everyone to keep their expectations in check and promotes a friendly, comfortable environment to explore the possibilities for romance. Your focus should be on one another, not the clothes that you each are wearing.

Have Fun
When you finally meet your online match, relax, be yourself and have a good time. You will look your best with a smile on your face.

Send An E-Mail After Your First Meeting
If you had a successful first meeting, before you go to bed, send her a short e-mail saying that you enjoyed meeting her in person. It is a nice way to let her know that you are interested and it is the best way to help move the relationship forward.

Transitioning To A Real World Relationship
Meeting your online match for the first time is a big step in transitioning you from an online/phone relationship to one in the real world. It still may be awhile before your online match feels comfortable enough to give you her phone number so that you can call or her address so you can pick her up for a date. That will come with time, try to be patient and understanding. Patience might get you somewhere, impatience won’t get you anywhere.

BY Taiwo


12 Tips For Safe Online Dating

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There’s a nervousness, thrill, and excitement that occurs when meeting a person for the first time face to face. Yet amongst the thrill, remember to always be on your guard when going out on a date with someone you barely know.

Here are 12 tips on dating safety to help you get started:

1. Arrange to meet him.
When meeting for the first time, never allow your date to pick you up from your home. In fact, your date shouldn't even know your home address yet!

2. Meet in public places.
For a first meeting, always meet in a public place where other people are in close proximity. You may also want to consider going out with a group of people, or a double date.

3. Go dutch by paying half of the bill.
It's always respectful for the man to offer to pay the bill. Unfortunately, some men ruin the gesture by expecting something in return. Therefore it may not be a bad idea for you to go dutch. Pay half the bill so that you won't feel under any obligation to "return" the favor.

4. Remember that alcohol affects your judgment.
The biggest threat to a person's judgment, when on a date, is alcohol. Not only does it affect your judgment, but alcohol also lessens your inhibitions. If you are drinking, keep your drink in sight at all times and don’t get so drunk that you don’t know what you are doing. Better yet, try to avoid alcohol on your first date.

5. Use your own mode of transportation.
Provide your own transportation to your public meeting place and make sure you have more than enough gas.

6. Don't assume that a man is safe.
It's important never to let your guard down when on a first date. Never assume a man is safe just because he claims to be religious or a gentleman.

7. Don’t let him know where you live.
If you want to see him again, arrange a second date and then take it from there.

8. Avoid secluded areas.
Remember - stay in a public place for your first date and avoid secluded areas such as parks.

9. Listen to your gut.
If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. And if you haven’t met him before, and you know at the beginning of the date that something doesn’t feel right, then leave immediately.

10. Always let someone else know where you're going. Be sure someone knows where you are going and who you'll be with. You might even consider arranging a time to call and check in. Or you could arrange to meet up with friends later that night.

11. Give him your cell phone number.
It's safer to give out a cell phone number instead of your home phone number (click here for why).

12. Always remain alert.
Even if you’re having a blast and the chemistry is great, it’s a good idea to remain alert the whole evening. Make sure you have a cell phone on you.

Dating safely is very important. In the initial stages of dating and online dating, you are still getting to know someone you know very little about. By creating a safe environment to know the person, you’re creating a better situation for yourself.

BY Taiwo

10 Important Dating Tips for Men

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There is a saying that "you never get a second chance to make a good first impression." With that in mind, it is vital to be fully prepared to make a great impression on each date you go on. Here are 10 tips for men on dating success and making an impression that will last.

1. Take a Bath or Shower
One of the worst things you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling. Women are the cleaner of the species and will partly judge you on how hygienic you are. After all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a mutt dog with tangled fur that hadn't bathed for days.

It doesn’t cost anything to take a bath and to make an effort to look and smell nice. Remember, bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off and she will assume that this is how you are all the time even if you are just having a bad day. As a result, she won’t be able to see beyond your appearance.


2. Arrive on Time

Whatever you do, don’t turn up late. Turning up late will send out all the wrong impressions. At first she may think she's been stood up, but after arriving late her opinion will change to you being unreliable or not caring enough about her to be on time. If you are picking her up from her home then it is advisable to turn up five minute before you are due. Any earlier and you might catch her adjusting her makeup or still getting ready. Five minutes early is the earliest you should arrive. But never be late.


3. Give Her a Thoughtful Gift
A woman feels special when the man she is with gives her a thoughtful gift. What is a thoughtful gift? Well, you obvious know some things about a woman before a first date that came from phone conversations, emails, etc. Take what you know and buy her an appropriate date gift. For example, let's say that the woman really likes golf. There are companies that make chocolate golf sets - a miniature chocolate club with a chocolate tee and chocolate golf ball. This would make a great first date gift. For a generic thoughtful gift, buy a chocolate rose. That's always appropriate without being overboard.


4. Be a Gentleman

Hold the door open for her, let her walk through the doors first, pull her chair, and be polite to her along with the people around you. Women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.


5. Compliment Her

The first thing to say to her is you look beautiful before you even ask how she is. Keep up the compliments throughout your date, but do not go over board (3-4 for the night should be more than enough). A woman loves to be complimented, to feel beautiful and to think that you are attracted to her. The more sincere and observant your compliment, the bigger impact it will have. But remember again not to go overboard. More than four compliments may make you appear fake and not real.


6. Listen to Her and Ask Questions

Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves. But you do have to get to know each other. Ask her questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. A woman is attracted to a man who is genuinely interested in hearing what she has to say. Spend a lot more time asking her questions and letting her talk than talking yourself.


7. Prepare for the Conversation

The last thing you want is to be sitting at a meal with nothing to talk about. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her. You may think that it is easy to talk and that you will not run out of questions to ask or that you will automatically have the answers but until you are in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. Avoid talking about past relationships or other women while on the date. Keep your focus, attention, and conversation fully on her.


8. Pay for the Date

It's virtually always appropriate for a gentleman to offer to pay for the date. When a man takes it upon himself to pay for the date, he is displaying that old act of "chivalry" that is missing from many men these days. However, some women feel more comfortable going "dutch" and if she insists on this, then don't resist. To avoid awkwardness, make sure you let her know before the date that you plan on paying for it.


9. The Goodnight Kiss

Some women prefer not to kiss after a first date, while others may be disappointed if the guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this question. Body language and chemistry throughout the night is key in the decision you make. If it feels right, then you may want to consider making the move. If it doesn't feel right then a friendly hug may be more appropriate.


10. I'll Call You

Only tell her that you will call her if you mean it and intend on seeing her again. Do not, under any circumstances, tell her you will call her if you are not interested and have no plans to call her. In this case, when saying goodbye, just say, "It was nice meeting you" and wish her luck. Or you could just say good night, smile and walk a way. But if you do like her and are interested, then you must let her know.

BY Taiwo

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